Tuesday, July 25, 2006

That's it... I had Enough~!

I decided to put an end to these sorrow and pain. I’ve been thru a very long week. One hell of a week. Hari ni genap seminggu aku bertemankan status baru-single! Saham kembali naik... [ececeh.. sempat perah santan sendiri]

A friend told me that i need to put a limit for all these. And yeah~ a week is enough. He doesn’t deserve another minute from me. Almost 3 tahun tu cukup dah utk dia. Regrets? No-lah! Because i believe in everything yg berlaku, ada hikmahnya. Takde rasa sia2 pun masa terbuang. Getting to know the warmth of love in his family is never a waste. One thing i regret is, he seldom see this. Good thing his family still want to keep in touch with me. Lagipun, I broke up with him, not his family.

Who’s to blame? Nope. I refuse to find anybody’s fault. I may be sad but i don’t want to blame or hate anyone. Especially myself. Boyfriend comes, boyfriend goes. So what? A friend said, boyfriends are just like jewelleries. You wear them, you look prettier but if you lose them, you can still look pretty. He’s a jewellery like a ring and i didnt loss my ring. I just gave it up to another girl yg nmpk berkenaan dgn my ring. Rupanya, dah lama dia intai cincin aku nie. Hendak tak hendak, aku sedekahkan jer lah cincin yg almost 3 tahun aku pakai tu kat dia sebab cincin emas tu pun harga beberapa ratus jer. Dia boleh amik lah cincin second hand aku tu. Polish elok2. Why bother nak sedih cincin tu dah takde sedangkan aku mampu beli cincin diamond platinum bertatahkan berlian permata berpuluh karat? Mmg la cincin tu sentimental value tapi yer lah, harta bukannya bawak masuk kubur pun.

Glad to have my friends around me. I would be stupid if i still mourn for one lost love and didnt see other thousands of love that i have in my family and friends. Like i use to say, i am afford to lose a boyfriend but i cannot afford to lose my family and friends. I know they are always here for me. Boyfriends? Its nice to have them around but kalau takde pun takper je. Good thing, i didnt put my 100% on him. [or else, i couldn’t afford to be far away from him]. I always bear in mind that i’m not his wife yet, so i dont have the right to demand too much from him. I understand that. [he’s always comfortable with me in this way-me not demanding too much] Now that he’s gone, should i mourn? No. Tak guna merintihkan jantan yang tak reti nak hargai kita ni. It's ok to be sad tapi jangan lar meratap dan merintih lebih2. It’s just so not me~!

Frankly, i’m relieve. I do feel the burden being taken out from me. Every breath that i take, is much lighter now. I dont have to keep the worries anymore. No more miserable if he doesn’t call. I dont need to worry if he doesn’t have time to eat. No more worries on his hectic life anymore. He’s on his own now. On his way to seek for another girl’s attention and plead for her love. Well, at least, i dont have to plead for it. Love will come to me. Being left by him doesn’t make me feel any less. And i know he’s not proud of doing it too and having a hard time of his own. He’s facing his family anger and i think that’ll be enuf for him to be in that guilty mode. No need for me to do anything. I’m done with him~!

I’m back on my feet but still need time to stand up straight. At least, i am standing up and trying to hold my chin up high. In this blog, i’m letting it all go out so that i can face the world with higher self-esteem. I have nothing to lose and still gaining the best of what the world can offer me. Most of all, i have my Lord near me, telling me that He has plan something else far better for me out there. Letting go one piece of my life for Him is just a trade for me to get another better piece of life. Patience is the strength He gave me through my Iman. My hikmah here is that i have a higher faith in HIM and i’m really thankful for that. Like my first break-up, i reminded my self that, ‘Tuhan saja nak pertemukan kita dgn org yang salah sebelum Dia pertemukan kita dgn org yang betul’ and for this second time, i met the wrong guy. But these wrong guys taught me a lot. The real meaning of sincere, commitment, caring, sharing, responsibility, appreciation, patience, tolerancy, trust and understanding. These are the package of Love. I need to explore them more before i can use them wisely. When Allah see that i’m wise enough, then He will send me the right guy. For that, I leave it to Allah as He knows what’s best for me.

So, i’m leaving all those pain memories behind for good! I’m looking forward for a better life and moving on to a better path. I guess i found back my smile. I know someone out there is made for me but let him wait as i still want to enjoy the beauty of life. So.... iyyeeaahh~! Sape nak ikut pergi shopping? Sales is just around the corner~! Nak pergi muzium hantu pun tak pergi2 lagi ni wei... Dengarnya, toyol kat sana dok main2 dgn kacang hijau! Pastuh nak pergi Sunway Lagoon sebab ada org tu pergi tak ajak kita. Then nak gi layan bowling and tgk ape movie yang baru keluar... Hehehe... sape nak ikut?!? *wink*wink* [alamak~! Projek tak gerak2 lagi nie... aiseh.. biler asid fumeric nak sampai nih? *sigh*]
A wonderful life indeed~!! Alhamdulillah.... *wink*