Thursday, April 30, 2009

Women sacrifice the most~*

Tengah2 merayau tengok fesbuk orang, terjumpa satu note sorang minah Singapore ni buat. I like the writing and i like the way she pointed out her view. I kinda agree with her.
So aku pun malas nak tulis banyak, and her opinion ni direct aku copy paste kat sini je and it is very long, its worth it to spend few minutes reading it through...
It’s raining again out there with outrageous thunders. With my head feeling zoned out, I wish I was home instead, having a good rest, and hopefully get well again.Such a wet weather is only making my allergy worse. For those who don’t know, doctors believe that I’m actually allergic to the wet weather here in Singapore. HAHA! Not that I can stand the hot weather either.And since the cold is obviously bugging my mood for the day, I decided to discuss a rather nasty topic; one which I have been planning for the longest time but never had the time to really sit down and think about it. Honestly, I think my brain analyzes too much and like Ally McBeal, it has a “brain” of its own.
When I was younger and still single, my grandma used to tell me that there is no point chasing the paper dream and get good qualifications since at the end of the day, we might just end up in the kitchen.I used to opposed so much to that notion, telling her that times have now changed and woman can be more successful and they do not have to give in to the norm; that woman are solely responsible for what happens in the kitchen. She’ll always retort back at me, asking me to just wait and see.If you look at it, hardly will you hear that men are actually lifting up their “dainty” fingers to help their mothers, sisters or grandmothers with the housework. It’s probably inculcated in our culture that the women are those who are responsible for all the household duties and that the men’s sole duty is to go out there and just earn the cash back home.Probably it might work in an era where woman has little or no education that they end up being a housewife once they step into marriage.
But in these modern days where woman has equal opportunity to gain the knowledge and achieve an astounding career profile, the norm has to change.I’m not exactly fighting for woman’s rights but just hoping that the man could practice more empathy to women who are equally tired working in the day and should deserve ample rest when they comes home in the evening.From my daily observation and stories that I heard from friends and colleagues, men, when they are home, would probably just place their butt on the sofa or on the bed and would then called out to the wife for coffee, tea and so on. While a woman comes home, has no time to rest but to clean the house, do the laundry, cook, wash the dishes and so on.Even as I was growing up, cleaning the house on the weekend has somehow become my duties whereas my brothers are enjoying their sleep till noon and just wake up to eat their meals and laze around.I was always grumbling and nagging to my brothers about how bad they are behaving by refusing to help me, who are also working my ass off in the office during the weekdays.Don’t I deserve to laze around just as much as they do that somehow me being a woman, I’m denied of that privileges?
I’m not saying that my mom’s way of bringing us up is wrong but I just feel that the old culture should not be practiced any further because it will only end up being understood that a woman’s job is to clean, cook and wash for them.It doesn’t work this way anymore!Let’s take an example of a married couple. Both husband and wife are working. Both have to wake up early in the morning to prepare for work. Both equally physically and mentally tired from the day’s event. Both would love to have the rest at home.But when both returns home, men thinks that they have the higher rights to rest since they didn’t bother to help out anyway. While a women returns, still have to sweep the house because the husband refuse to help, has to mop the house because the husband refuse to help, has to do the laundry because the husband refuse to help, has to prepare dinner because the husband refuse to help and the list will go on forever.Many would just take the easy way out by employing a maid but what if you do not have the means to have a maid? So the wife automatically becomes the maid?I thought marriage is about love and going through all the ups and downs TOGETHER!Yet the man, arrogant as some men could be, thought they have the every right to scold the wife for not having the house as clean, the laundry or the dinner on time!You know, I totally despise such man.Go move your own bloody limbs to get it done!
Many cases of men having affairs, their reason could be as simple as the wife is always in the mess and never attractive enough. Oh well, try to work in the morning and continue with all the work in the evening! Do you think that, that is what a woman look forward too when they decide to get married to you?If you love your woman so much, how did you close both eyes and see the person that you so called love to be so drained out physically and emotionally from working too hard?Is that really love or just pure laziness?A man should really wake up and open their eyes wide and stop being so prejudiced!And some men do grumble so much when the wife is pregnant and they are always moody, craving and so forth. So hubby and I have a healthy debate about pregnant woman and their mood swings.Hubby said that it’s all in the mind and the woman involved should learn how to control the outburst of emotions.My point, I think that is being so self-centered! (sorry hubs!)True a woman should learn how to control and not behaving in such over the top manner and use pregnancy as an excuse but a man should be more understanding and it’s not just all about mind over body issue.There are hormones, lethargy and so much more. It’s not easy carrying that extra load with her for 9 months or more. What does a man know? At most they are only carrying their beer belly around don’t they? Women are instead not only feeling the heaviness of being pregnant but they are also easily tired and ache all over. Why don’t men try to tie a 3 KG dumbbell on their tummy for 9 whole months and feel what a woman feel?Would they?
Men’s mentalities are simple. Go to work, come back home and make sure they pay the bills while they expect more from the woman.I mean take a look at today’s situation. Woman does work and pay the bills too. So why should women be liable for the household and be blamed for the mood swings?Men are not being responsible by not taking good care of their wife as they blatantly promised in front of many others when they were solemnized.They might as well point it out and say that I marry this woman, not only will she become my maid for free but she has also has to find the energy to satisfy me in bed, cook for me, do all my laundry, ensure my house is clean, bear me childrens and they should never nagged or complaint about all the hardship and heart ache that they have to go through but to just listen to me with no question asked.I bet many women will choose to be single if they were to hear those words. HAHAHA!
Fuhh.. panjang giler..